ATM Adventure

Two Software Engineers (SE) were getting ready for lunch and met outside their building in the lobby.

1st SE: Hey Buddy! I have a purchase to make and need to drop cash from ATM. Let’s go there first before proceeding for lunch.

2nd SE: Sure! Even I need to drop cash. Let’s move on.

As they reach the place, they find a dozen people waiting in queue. Both stand there waiting for their turn.

Finally the first person’s turn arrives. He swipes in the card and enters the amount.
“Sorry! Transaction invalid! Please enter the denomination amount in multiples of 500” is the message that gets displayed.

1st SE: My card doesn’t seem to be working in this machine. I’ll drop later. You carry on.

The second SE swipes his card and enters the amount. He too gets the same message.

2nd SE: Dude! There seems to be some problem with my card too. Come let’s go for lunch now! There are many waiting in queue. Let’s not waste their time.

Saying this the 2nd SE moves away from the queue and both are about to move towards the food counter.

Suddenly they hear a call from the next person in the queue “Buddies! It’s not a problem with card. You need to enter an amount in denominations of 500” he shouts at both of them. All heads in the queue now turn towards the two SE’s.

Now both didn’t expect this. “Oh..ok fine. We have an urgent deliverable. We can’t wait again in the queue. We’ll get going. Thanks for checking though” says the first SE.

“Never mind. I’ll wait. You can come in drop the cash first” says the third person.

(You moron! We would have done that had we had more than 500 in our account!) thinks both the SE’s.

“Very kind of you dude! Never mind. We’ll get going” says the 2nd SE.

P.S: Why don’t they credit the salary on 28th itself?

P.P.S: Names of actual characters will not be revealed. Please don’t ask for the same.

Cricket Comedy - Part II

Scene 1
Person A: What has Vijay Ballya (not to be confused with actor Balaiyah) done to his team? He has Wasim Buffer, Rahuwall David and Jacques Qualis in his team. Is it a test team or a 20-20 team?
Person B: He's very intelligent dude. If this team clicks, he’ll call it insight and ingenious thinking.
If they flop, he has another plan in place. He has already aquired an adhesive company and he’ll use them for promoting it.
Scene 2
Much similar to politicians, even the franchise owners have started providing promises to their teams before the IPL matches.
Chennai: Free cement supply to all players for their house construction.
Hyderabad: Free lifetime supply of Deccan Chronicle.
Mumbai: Free Reliance Cell Phone, Broadband connections with lifetime validity.
Kolkata & Mohali: Both have announced free DVD’s and exclusive premier shows to Zinta and Shah Rukh movies
Delhi: A 3 BHK house in any one of the GMR constructed areas in India.
Last but not the least:
Bangalore: Free lifetime supply of beer and wine plus exclusive permission to view the shooting of kingfisher swimsuit calendar for 5 years
(No wonder all players wished that they had been in Bangalore team)
Scene 3
Haunting: I am extremely disappointed over the responsibility given to me within the team for preparation.
Almonds: Hey! You told me that you were supposed to mentor the guys in batting department.
Haunting: That was before India’s tour down under. Now they have given me the responsibility of training the members in slip catching. Especially for the first and third slip positions.
Scene 4
SRK: What have you done in the auctions? Why did you buy Prashant Sharma for such a huge amount?
Manager: Sir, you told us to buy Haunting. I felt that purchase would nullify if we don’t get Prashant in our team.
SRK: !@$#*%# (Confused not knowing what to say next)

Cricket Comedy

Note: All the characters that appear in the conversation are purely fictional and any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental

Scene 1
Before the start up of Indian Premier League (IPL):

Haunting: Our calendar is tightly packed and the players are getting burnt out. This is something the ICC has to address.

After IPL:

Haunting: With the start up of IPL, players on verge of retirement may be lured to their retirement earlier. ICC should have a separate window every year for IPL.

Scene 2

After IPL:

Almonds: Walks into the dressing room and throws the bat with fury after getting out.

Haunting: What makes you so angry Almo? Relax! I’ll tell the umpire to rule you not out in the next match. We should not make it obvious.

Almond: It’s not the dismissal that made me angry. It’s that monkey issue.

Haunting: Did Lajji call you monkey again? Did that get captured in the stump mike? We’ll nail him down this time.

Almonds: No! This time it’s the IPL who are starting it over again.

Haunting: What’s with them?

Almonds: They have named their team Hyderabad Apes, selected chimpanzee as their logo and have made me the captain :( :(

Scene 3

Haunting: Sobs uncontrollably in the dressing room after the loss in the second final of the CB series

Burden: Hey! Relax haunter! I know it’s painful to lose this series. Don’t worry we’ll pay them back when we tour India later.

Haunting: Continues sobbing.

Clerk: Hey! I guess he’s not happy because he couldn’t contribute much in the series. You surely will get back your golden touch man. Now stop crying.

(Still the sobbing continues)

Almonds: Hey guys! I think he’s sorry that he could not give a winning farewell to Gully. That’s the reason he’s sobbing.

Gully: Haunter! I know how much you wanted to win this series for me and I appreciate it. Now please stop crying.

Haunting: (Cries louder.)

Gully: (Angrily) we all are also as disappointed as you are! Now will you stop crying you Jackass!

Haunting: (Finally stops crying) why should all of you be disappointed? All of you got a far better deal than me in the IPL. I wonder how much more my stakes is going to reduce after this loss of form and series.

Wack! Boom! Bash!

(Needless to say what happened next!)

I dedicate this post to my mother. Its a small tribute to the love and affection that she has showered me with all my life

Love you mom

You went through pain that’s nearly half death

And brought me onto this beautiful earth

It’s funny when they called it my birth

For in reality it was your second birth!

You gave me space in your womb

And handled my kicks aplomb

Shared your food and your body

And protected me by being sturdy

I became your life ever since I was born

It seemed as if your soul was torn

At times you looked careworn

But with my every little smile and giggle you were re-born

Speechless you became when I spoke my first word

And ecstatic you were, when I took my first step

Pride I could read in your gleaming eyes

With every little victory that I had in my vies

Whether it was prize or fear or tears that I had

I would run to your arms and cuddle you tight

It’s like a Sun that goes beneath the mountains for rest

Or the birds that fly back home to their nest

Grown up now Iam, that for you I don’t have time

I keep running around the clock for the little dime

Its emails, calls, conferences and meetings

Or sms, chats and friendly datings

Frustrated when Iam, I throw up a taunt

But my happiness and well being is all that you want

You bury up your emotions and put up a smile

And once I leave home you pray for me all while

My ignorance is shed and I’ve understood your plight

That its not just old age but loneliness you fight

I run across to you and lie in your lap

I weep and cry and take a short nap

Nothing I do to you can repay your love

For it’s simply eternal and pure

I just pray to god to give me another birth

Where I can be the mother and you my child…

http://sheenasimran.blogspot.com/2008/03/thnaks-for-being-there-mom.html

A poem on my poem writing experience

The following is a poem that I had written for a competiton during my 12th std.

It was a beautiful fine morning
And I woke up half yawning
I rushed to school in my bicycle
And what happened that day was nothing less than a miracle

It was Independence Day celebration
And I had enrolled myself for a mystery competition
Poetry writing competition announced my English teacher
I wanted to shout at her “You are devilish creature”

She told us to write a poem
With beautiful rhyme
Using metaphors and similes
I thought of crying please

I rushed to strike off my name
For I had only myself to blame
She told me that my excuse was lame
And with little effort I could achieve fame

Her words were quite alluring
But I could not find a topic that was enduring
While my friends had started penning
I was left wondering and dreaming

Then a thought stuck me like lightning
That a poem on the competition itself would be worth reading
So I took my pen and started writing
Rushing against the stop-watch that was fast ticking

My attempt on that day is what you’re reading
And I end up by throwing a statutory warning
That for writing poem one needs IQ
And there were no one for my rescue