Mysore Diaries - Part I

A few funny incidents from my training days at Mysore

Scene 1: On the first day of Induction.

I had given my father's name as first name and mine as the last name by mistake during my interview. Hence I wanted to request the HR to correct the same. Just after the first hour I went out to meet the HR during the tea break. I was accompanied as usual by my gang of friends.

I was a touch nervous and I approached her and introduced myself. ‘Good Morning ma’am. I am a new joinee and I need a small help’.As I said this she was moving back while facing me. I perhaps thought that she wanted to move around to a corner before starting the discussion. Hence I kept moving forward. Suddenly she stood still and told me “Now please stop there and tell me what you want”.

And the entire gang let out a huge yell and started laughing loudly in the background. I was extremely embarrassed and she asked me to come to her cube and meet her.

The first thing she told me as I went there to her cube is that I am not in college and need to behave professionally. (What a first day!)

Scene 2: Three days after induction – In the washing machine room in the campus

My friends and I were washing our clothes and we were waiting for the drier to be free. A girl who had put her clothes in drier was so deeply immersed in a novel that she didn’t notice that the timer had come to zero.

We waited for a few minutes for her to remove her clothes from the drier. It didn’t help.

Hence I went near her to make a request.

“Excuse me ma’am will you please remove your clothes fr..” and bang came the yell and laughter again even before I could complete the sentence. Now this became very serious and she shot a nasty look at me. I slowly completed the sentence saying “from the drier”.

Sweat started dripping from my whole body and I was sure I’ll be the first case in ASHI (Anti Sexual Harassment Initiative) in the company.

Those two minutes seemed eternal and words simply failed to come from my mouth.

Luckily she understood the situation, let a laugh and left the place.

Though I was the victim on both the occasions, we all had a hearty laugh over it after some time.

P.S - The training that I had in Mysore holds a special place in my life and I had loads of fun while learning. I felt as if I had re-lived those moments again when I wrote this.

Weather Changes in Chennai in 3 mins

The following two snaps shows the rapid weather change that happened in 3 mins. What started off as a bright and sunny day suddenly turned goomy and cloudy. This just about projects the beauty of nature, its unpredicatability and its relevance to real life.

P.S - Both the snaps were taken during train travel using K790I Cybershot.

A Year of togetherness

It seems as if we met only yesterday!
One year has surpassed in a hurry.
I can still remember the first meet! The first word!
It was so wonderful! The scene is firmly etched in my memory.

Where were you all these 23 years? Why was I oblivious to your existence?
What made me look for you suddenly? Was it a right decision that I took?
1000 questions arose in my mind as I rode my bike to meet you this day last year.
I am still not sure if I’ve found answers to all my questions. But, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your company and cherished your presence.

It’s an absolutely wonderful feeling -To have you sitting in my lap with your head rested in my chest and your whole body cuddled upon me. Those giggling sounds that you make as I tickle you and those half yawning sounds that you produce as I gently stoke you keep reverberating in my ears.

It took me a long time to understand you and what makes you feel at ease. I still can’t say that I’ve understood you completely. I am trying though, earnestly to know you better and to make you my lifetime companion.

Our relationship may have progressed only at a snail’s pace in this period. But it was largely due to me and you had no part in it. I’ve been guilty of not spending enough time with you. Not lending my ears to listen to you. But you’ve been through with me at all times. You’ve understood that I am trying hard to be with you and this has been the undercurrent of our relationship.

As a year has gone by, I take my time out to tell you that you’re my first love!

My sweet violin I love you!

P.S – This post is dedicated to my friend Bharath Harish who has been an inspiration for me to learn this musical instrument.

Savaged in Public

I was beaten apart, molested and torched alive in public today. Not a single soul came to my rescue. All men and women gathered around and watched me being tortured and ripped apart. They weren’t enjoying but didn’t have the guts to take on the miscreants. It is a shame that I am a part of this society. I had helped a lot of those people who were silent spectators. The miscreants first attacked me with hockey sticks and iron rods and shouted abusive slogans. Then they ripped apart my insides and finally torched me alive and ran away from the place. Only after their disappearance, did the public come together to put down the fire. I was rushed to the hospital with 3rd degree burns and with only a trace of life lingering in me. The scene that I witnessed in the hospital was even more shocking and unpalatable.

I found four of my friends too admitted with severe injuries. One of them has already been declared dead. Pain and agony engulfed me but I was too weak to even cry. They too had been attacked at their home by an angry mob. I cannot digest the injustice that is being committed against my community. We’ve always been the chosen ones, when it comes to showing off frustration and anger. Be it a bandth or a college strike or political riot we are the victims. An atrocity against us becomes a symbol of success for them. I laugh in my insides looking at the cowards who attacked me. They didn’t have the guts to take on a matching opposition. It’s an irony that they have been blessed with six senses while we are being classed as non-living.

From our birth to death we carry out the duties assigned to us of safely transporting the humans between different places. We take them to their loved ones and give them memories that they cherish. We work tirelessly both day and nights to meet their demands. They give us due respect and treat us royally one day in a year and they call the day as Ayutha Pooja. We are garlanded and worshipped on that day alone. But we’ve learnt not to expect much from the race after we saw the treatment that was meted out to the person who secured freedom for them. His statues were erected all around the country for birds to excrete. The statues gain significance only on his birthday, Independence Day and Republic Day when all politicians garland them and give lectures on his principles. So it’s no surprise when we receive the same treatment.

From the conversation between the doctors operating on me, I’ve learnt that my hopes of survival are bleak. It’s a matter of minutes before I rest in peace. I’ve serviced the human race to the best of my ability. I haven’t provided a complete return on the investments made on me, courtesy the miscreants. I hope God doesn’t hold this against me.
And I’ve been one of the fortunate ones to know the actual reason behind the ruthless attack on me. It’s the water sharing issue between the two states that I operate.
Hail the human race.
Amen

TN 21 –D
No-7634

ATM Adventure

Two Software Engineers (SE) were getting ready for lunch and met outside their building in the lobby.

1st SE: Hey Buddy! I have a purchase to make and need to drop cash from ATM. Let’s go there first before proceeding for lunch.

2nd SE: Sure! Even I need to drop cash. Let’s move on.

As they reach the place, they find a dozen people waiting in queue. Both stand there waiting for their turn.

Finally the first person’s turn arrives. He swipes in the card and enters the amount.
“Sorry! Transaction invalid! Please enter the denomination amount in multiples of 500” is the message that gets displayed.

1st SE: My card doesn’t seem to be working in this machine. I’ll drop later. You carry on.

The second SE swipes his card and enters the amount. He too gets the same message.

2nd SE: Dude! There seems to be some problem with my card too. Come let’s go for lunch now! There are many waiting in queue. Let’s not waste their time.

Saying this the 2nd SE moves away from the queue and both are about to move towards the food counter.

Suddenly they hear a call from the next person in the queue “Buddies! It’s not a problem with card. You need to enter an amount in denominations of 500” he shouts at both of them. All heads in the queue now turn towards the two SE’s.

Now both didn’t expect this. “Oh..ok fine. We have an urgent deliverable. We can’t wait again in the queue. We’ll get going. Thanks for checking though” says the first SE.

“Never mind. I’ll wait. You can come in drop the cash first” says the third person.

(You moron! We would have done that had we had more than 500 in our account!) thinks both the SE’s.

“Very kind of you dude! Never mind. We’ll get going” says the 2nd SE.

P.S: Why don’t they credit the salary on 28th itself?

P.P.S: Names of actual characters will not be revealed. Please don’t ask for the same.

Cricket Comedy - Part II

Scene 1
Person A: What has Vijay Ballya (not to be confused with actor Balaiyah) done to his team? He has Wasim Buffer, Rahuwall David and Jacques Qualis in his team. Is it a test team or a 20-20 team?
Person B: He's very intelligent dude. If this team clicks, he’ll call it insight and ingenious thinking.
If they flop, he has another plan in place. He has already aquired an adhesive company and he’ll use them for promoting it.
Scene 2
Much similar to politicians, even the franchise owners have started providing promises to their teams before the IPL matches.
Chennai: Free cement supply to all players for their house construction.
Hyderabad: Free lifetime supply of Deccan Chronicle.
Mumbai: Free Reliance Cell Phone, Broadband connections with lifetime validity.
Kolkata & Mohali: Both have announced free DVD’s and exclusive premier shows to Zinta and Shah Rukh movies
Delhi: A 3 BHK house in any one of the GMR constructed areas in India.
Last but not the least:
Bangalore: Free lifetime supply of beer and wine plus exclusive permission to view the shooting of kingfisher swimsuit calendar for 5 years
(No wonder all players wished that they had been in Bangalore team)
Scene 3
Haunting: I am extremely disappointed over the responsibility given to me within the team for preparation.
Almonds: Hey! You told me that you were supposed to mentor the guys in batting department.
Haunting: That was before India’s tour down under. Now they have given me the responsibility of training the members in slip catching. Especially for the first and third slip positions.
Scene 4
SRK: What have you done in the auctions? Why did you buy Prashant Sharma for such a huge amount?
Manager: Sir, you told us to buy Haunting. I felt that purchase would nullify if we don’t get Prashant in our team.
SRK: !@$#*%# (Confused not knowing what to say next)

Cricket Comedy

Note: All the characters that appear in the conversation are purely fictional and any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental

Scene 1
Before the start up of Indian Premier League (IPL):

Haunting: Our calendar is tightly packed and the players are getting burnt out. This is something the ICC has to address.

After IPL:

Haunting: With the start up of IPL, players on verge of retirement may be lured to their retirement earlier. ICC should have a separate window every year for IPL.

Scene 2

After IPL:

Almonds: Walks into the dressing room and throws the bat with fury after getting out.

Haunting: What makes you so angry Almo? Relax! I’ll tell the umpire to rule you not out in the next match. We should not make it obvious.

Almond: It’s not the dismissal that made me angry. It’s that monkey issue.

Haunting: Did Lajji call you monkey again? Did that get captured in the stump mike? We’ll nail him down this time.

Almonds: No! This time it’s the IPL who are starting it over again.

Haunting: What’s with them?

Almonds: They have named their team Hyderabad Apes, selected chimpanzee as their logo and have made me the captain :( :(

Scene 3

Haunting: Sobs uncontrollably in the dressing room after the loss in the second final of the CB series

Burden: Hey! Relax haunter! I know it’s painful to lose this series. Don’t worry we’ll pay them back when we tour India later.

Haunting: Continues sobbing.

Clerk: Hey! I guess he’s not happy because he couldn’t contribute much in the series. You surely will get back your golden touch man. Now stop crying.

(Still the sobbing continues)

Almonds: Hey guys! I think he’s sorry that he could not give a winning farewell to Gully. That’s the reason he’s sobbing.

Gully: Haunter! I know how much you wanted to win this series for me and I appreciate it. Now please stop crying.

Haunting: (Cries louder.)

Gully: (Angrily) we all are also as disappointed as you are! Now will you stop crying you Jackass!

Haunting: (Finally stops crying) why should all of you be disappointed? All of you got a far better deal than me in the IPL. I wonder how much more my stakes is going to reduce after this loss of form and series.

Wack! Boom! Bash!

(Needless to say what happened next!)

I dedicate this post to my mother. Its a small tribute to the love and affection that she has showered me with all my life

Love you mom

You went through pain that’s nearly half death

And brought me onto this beautiful earth

It’s funny when they called it my birth

For in reality it was your second birth!

You gave me space in your womb

And handled my kicks aplomb

Shared your food and your body

And protected me by being sturdy

I became your life ever since I was born

It seemed as if your soul was torn

At times you looked careworn

But with my every little smile and giggle you were re-born

Speechless you became when I spoke my first word

And ecstatic you were, when I took my first step

Pride I could read in your gleaming eyes

With every little victory that I had in my vies

Whether it was prize or fear or tears that I had

I would run to your arms and cuddle you tight

It’s like a Sun that goes beneath the mountains for rest

Or the birds that fly back home to their nest

Grown up now Iam, that for you I don’t have time

I keep running around the clock for the little dime

Its emails, calls, conferences and meetings

Or sms, chats and friendly datings

Frustrated when Iam, I throw up a taunt

But my happiness and well being is all that you want

You bury up your emotions and put up a smile

And once I leave home you pray for me all while

My ignorance is shed and I’ve understood your plight

That its not just old age but loneliness you fight

I run across to you and lie in your lap

I weep and cry and take a short nap

Nothing I do to you can repay your love

For it’s simply eternal and pure

I just pray to god to give me another birth

Where I can be the mother and you my child…

http://sheenasimran.blogspot.com/2008/03/thnaks-for-being-there-mom.html

A poem on my poem writing experience

The following is a poem that I had written for a competiton during my 12th std.

It was a beautiful fine morning
And I woke up half yawning
I rushed to school in my bicycle
And what happened that day was nothing less than a miracle

It was Independence Day celebration
And I had enrolled myself for a mystery competition
Poetry writing competition announced my English teacher
I wanted to shout at her “You are devilish creature”

She told us to write a poem
With beautiful rhyme
Using metaphors and similes
I thought of crying please

I rushed to strike off my name
For I had only myself to blame
She told me that my excuse was lame
And with little effort I could achieve fame

Her words were quite alluring
But I could not find a topic that was enduring
While my friends had started penning
I was left wondering and dreaming

Then a thought stuck me like lightning
That a poem on the competition itself would be worth reading
So I took my pen and started writing
Rushing against the stop-watch that was fast ticking

My attempt on that day is what you’re reading
And I end up by throwing a statutory warning
That for writing poem one needs IQ
And there were no one for my rescue

Young Networking Engineer

I had logged into my orkut account. Found a new friendship request from a person.
The profile picture was that of an actor and I could not get much information from the user profile description either. Hence I had rejected the friend request.

I was on my way home when I came across the kids in my area playing street cricket.
It brought back nostalgic memories of the happy days that I had playing in the very same place. Hence I stood there for a couple of min and watched the game. Suddenly a shot was played in my direction and my instinct made me stop the ball from going to the boundary.

The kids in the fielding team started cheering and dancing when I did tat.

Kid with the bat: Anna (Brother) why did you stop the ball? You’ve cost us the match. We needed 3 runs of the last ball to win the game.
Me: Sorry kanna (kid). It was a small mistake. Why don’t you re-bowl the ball again?
Kid: (With a frown in his face) No according to our rules it’s not possible. You’ve already made me lose a bet and now you’ve spoilt the match.
Me: What! (Totally confused!!!) Are you playing a bet match?
Kid: No Anna (brother). I had a bet with my friends that I will have 200 people in my friends list in orkut. I had sent u a friend request but u rejected mine. I ended up with 197 people.
Me: Sorry kanna (kid). I’ll get you whatever you had made a bet for! (I was half hoping that he would not say XBOX 360 as the bet. Boy that would have cost me a month’s salary)
Kid: You can’t. We had a bet that the winner would work on assignments together with Shreya for 1 month. (Wow what a bet!)
Me: Now I was dumbstruck. I stood still unable to reply.
Kid: Even those 10 akkas (10 Sisters) in that house (Pointing to an apartment) who are also working in a company like you accepted my request.
Me: I felt like fainting. I never knew that there were 10 girls staying in that apartment.
Kid: Anna! Anna! (Brother! Brother!)
Me: (Coming back to my senses). How did you manage to make friends with them?
Kid: I had hit the ball into their house one day while playing. While collecting the ball I told them my bet and they all laughed and then told me they’ll accept my request.
Me: Send me a friend request again. This time I’ll surely accept.
Kid: I know why you would accept it this time. It’s because those akkas (sisters) are my friend.
Me: (I never got this idea! Sounds good) No kanna! (No Kid!) I didn’t know it was you when I got the request. You never told me also.
Kid: Ok Anna. Thanks! But after that I’ll send request to all your friends to. You should ask them to accept too. My next bet is on reaching 250 friends in orkut.
Me: Ohh…Ok. I’ll tell them. Bye
Kid: Bye!
I was pondering over the conversation that I had with the kid on my way back to home. Suddenly someone called up my name. I turned back and found that it was that kid’s mother.
Me: Hello Aunty!
Kid’s Mom: I saw you talking with my beta! He’s a very bright child. Isn’t he?
Me: Hmm: Yes Aunty.
Aunty: He seems to be having a flair for computers at this young age. He does not play games like other kids. He seems to be learning new things always. (Her face was beaming in pride as she said this)
Me: Oh.. Is it? That is good.
Aunty: When I asked him, he told me he’s learning networking. What’s more, he says his future ambition is to become a networking engineer. Do help him in realizing his ambition.
Me: (I almost broke into laughter on hearing this). Sure Aunty. I’ll do so.

P.S : This is not a work of fiction but a real incident that had happened.

Butter Knees

The term butterfingers is used to describe a person who tends to drop things. In the context of cricket it is used to describe a person who tends to drop catches or who tends to get his fingers injured a lot while playing.

In this context, I must say that I’ve contracted butterknees syndrome. It is as though my knees suddenly decide that it needs a break from supporting my body weight.
It first happened when I was running in hard to bowl during my cricket match in the beach. Bowled a superb delivery to clean up the batsmen’s stumps but ended up rolling on the ground clutching my knees. The pain was excruciating. More than the pain it was humiliating to paint a sorry picture in front of my teammates and on-lookers. My friends quickly pulled me up and carried me along to sidelines. As though reading my thoughts, they immediately stopped worrying instead made some humorous remarks that made me a lot more comfortable.

Excerpts from the conversation below:

Soko: Machan unakku body strong a irukku but basement weak da. (Buddy – your body seems to be strong but your basement is weak)

Myself: Had a slight laugh in agony.

Hemu: Machis (addressing other team members in a serious tone) The first thing we’re gonna do after the match is to take him to MRF pace foundation to Dennis Lillee. We need to have his bowling action corrected and we can’t afford to lose a strike bowler. (As if we’re playing in an Indo-Aus match).

Myself: Started giggling a bit.

Dinesh: Machi, there’s nothing wrong with his legs da. It’s just that this month is not good for left-handers. There seems to be a bad omen lurking around for them. Zaheer, R.P Singh, Yuvraj and Hayden all got injured during the Indo-Aus series. We better let him rest this whole month.

Myself: Wondered what Zaheer, R.P Singh or Yuvi would have said had they heard this remark.

Even the on-lookers broke with laughter on hearing the conversation.

Unnai Kaanatha Kannum..

உன்னை காணாத கண்ணும் கண்ணல்ல‌
உன்னை எண்ணாத நெஞ்சும் நெஞ்சல்ல‌
நீ சொல்லாத சொல்லும் சொல்லல்ல‌
இவ்வாறு நான் சொல்ல நான் செவிடு குருடல்ல...

Poem on umpiring decisions in Sydney

This poem is the modified version of a popular tamil rhyme "Kai Veesamma Kai Veesu"

கை தூக்கப்பா கை தூக்கு
அவுட் கொடுக்க கை தூக்கு
பக்னர் பாப்பா கை தூக்கு
பென்ஸென் பாப்பா கை தூக்கு
பான்டிங் ஸொன்னா கை தூக்கு
ஸீமன்ஸ் போட்டா கை தூக்கு
இந்தியா ஆடினா கை தூக்கு
ஆஸ்தீரேலீயா ஆடினா கண் தூங்கு

Lets mock Sachin

Sachin should retire!
He has become a liability to the team.
He is no longer effective in the one-day format of the game.
He’s not played the attacking game that he’s known for.
He is playing for personal records and milestones.
Sachin is simply staying in the team to boost up his commercial value.
He has not won a single world cup for India.

Many more such statements have been made after India’s T20 world cup victory.

Here are a few answers to the qns and statements put forward by his critics.

1) He was the highest run scorer in One-day internationals from 1990-1999.
2) He is the second highest run getter in the period 2000-2007 only behind Mohammad Yousuf. He has achieved this in spite of the constant injuries that he has suffered in this period.
3) He’s no longer the young kid in the block. He has reduced the element of risks in his shots and is still scoring at a strike rate of 90+ for the past 4 yrs.
4) He has been dismissed in 90’s for seven times this year with three of them due to poor umpiring decisions. In almost all these occasions he had scored these runs before the 30th over. He could have easily got to his 100 if he was interested in personal milestones.
5) Which one of us will say no if offered the commercials and the money? And he’s earned all those because of his talent, the mad fan following and the media. So why blame him alone?
6) Yes he has not been able to win a world cup for us. But is it really his fault? Twice he had single handedly taken us to the semi final and final in 1996 and 2003. The fact that he could not get a world cup for us is going to remain as a scar in his heart forever.

It’s true that the younger generation of players have proved themselves at the T20 World cup. They’ve exhibited the talent that’s hidden in the country.

But spare a thought for the man who has so selflessly served for India for close to 2 decades. He had carried the hopes of a billion people for most part of his career. He would have been knighted had he been born in some other country like Australia or England.
Lets at least give him the respect that he has earned across these years.

Lessons from GMAT

Lessons I learnt from GMAT

Hey Guys! Wait a min..I am not gonna talk about co-ordinate geometry, sentence correction, vocab etc here…

These are lessons I learnt after reading the Instructions and tips for taking up GMAT.

Instructions for taking up GMAT

1) All questions are mandatory. One question at a time will be populated on the screen. You need to answer the question to get to the next one.
2) Once a question is answered you cannot go back and change the answer or re-attempt the question again.
3) The computer provides you with a tougher or an easier question depending on your answer to the previous question.
4) Your final score is computed based on the number of questions answered and the difficulty level reached.

Interpretations in LIFE

1) You need to face all the problems that life throws up against you. The best way to do is to take one problem at a time and concentrate on finding a solution.
2) You cannot go back in time and change the past. Hence once you take a decision do not regret. Accept and move on.
3) The opportunities and challenges that are provided to you will depend on your previous performances. Remember that excellence is not a destination but a habit.
4) Where you reach finally in your life will depend to a large extent on the number of right decisions made and the number of opportunities that you’ve made use of.

TIPS for taking GMAT

1) Answer all the questions. People who attend all the questions get a better score than people who don’t complete the test.
2) Try to eliminate the wrong choices when you have to take a guess. Making random guesses will impact your score.
3) If you answer a question incorrectly by mistake – or correctly by lucky guess – your answers to subsequent questions will lead you back to questions that are at an appropriate level of difficulty for you.

Interpretations in LIFE

1) Take up every opportunity that life throws up. Its better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all. When you lose don’t lose the lesson.
2) Never take a decision in haste or anger. It will never be fruitful. And life is not ideal. Hence try to find a path or way out even if its not the best one.
3) Take the luck that comes your way and try to build on it. Remember that luck can take you to a higher level but cannot sustain you there. Only true effort can help you retain that spot.