Cricket Comedy - Part II

Scene 1
Person A: What has Vijay Ballya (not to be confused with actor Balaiyah) done to his team? He has Wasim Buffer, Rahuwall David and Jacques Qualis in his team. Is it a test team or a 20-20 team?
Person B: He's very intelligent dude. If this team clicks, he’ll call it insight and ingenious thinking.
If they flop, he has another plan in place. He has already aquired an adhesive company and he’ll use them for promoting it.
Scene 2
Much similar to politicians, even the franchise owners have started providing promises to their teams before the IPL matches.
Chennai: Free cement supply to all players for their house construction.
Hyderabad: Free lifetime supply of Deccan Chronicle.
Mumbai: Free Reliance Cell Phone, Broadband connections with lifetime validity.
Kolkata & Mohali: Both have announced free DVD’s and exclusive premier shows to Zinta and Shah Rukh movies
Delhi: A 3 BHK house in any one of the GMR constructed areas in India.
Last but not the least:
Bangalore: Free lifetime supply of beer and wine plus exclusive permission to view the shooting of kingfisher swimsuit calendar for 5 years
(No wonder all players wished that they had been in Bangalore team)
Scene 3
Haunting: I am extremely disappointed over the responsibility given to me within the team for preparation.
Almonds: Hey! You told me that you were supposed to mentor the guys in batting department.
Haunting: That was before India’s tour down under. Now they have given me the responsibility of training the members in slip catching. Especially for the first and third slip positions.
Scene 4
SRK: What have you done in the auctions? Why did you buy Prashant Sharma for such a huge amount?
Manager: Sir, you told us to buy Haunting. I felt that purchase would nullify if we don’t get Prashant in our team.
SRK: !@$#*%# (Confused not knowing what to say next)

Cricket Comedy

Note: All the characters that appear in the conversation are purely fictional and any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental

Scene 1
Before the start up of Indian Premier League (IPL):

Haunting: Our calendar is tightly packed and the players are getting burnt out. This is something the ICC has to address.

After IPL:

Haunting: With the start up of IPL, players on verge of retirement may be lured to their retirement earlier. ICC should have a separate window every year for IPL.

Scene 2

After IPL:

Almonds: Walks into the dressing room and throws the bat with fury after getting out.

Haunting: What makes you so angry Almo? Relax! I’ll tell the umpire to rule you not out in the next match. We should not make it obvious.

Almond: It’s not the dismissal that made me angry. It’s that monkey issue.

Haunting: Did Lajji call you monkey again? Did that get captured in the stump mike? We’ll nail him down this time.

Almonds: No! This time it’s the IPL who are starting it over again.

Haunting: What’s with them?

Almonds: They have named their team Hyderabad Apes, selected chimpanzee as their logo and have made me the captain :( :(

Scene 3

Haunting: Sobs uncontrollably in the dressing room after the loss in the second final of the CB series

Burden: Hey! Relax haunter! I know it’s painful to lose this series. Don’t worry we’ll pay them back when we tour India later.

Haunting: Continues sobbing.

Clerk: Hey! I guess he’s not happy because he couldn’t contribute much in the series. You surely will get back your golden touch man. Now stop crying.

(Still the sobbing continues)

Almonds: Hey guys! I think he’s sorry that he could not give a winning farewell to Gully. That’s the reason he’s sobbing.

Gully: Haunter! I know how much you wanted to win this series for me and I appreciate it. Now please stop crying.

Haunting: (Cries louder.)

Gully: (Angrily) we all are also as disappointed as you are! Now will you stop crying you Jackass!

Haunting: (Finally stops crying) why should all of you be disappointed? All of you got a far better deal than me in the IPL. I wonder how much more my stakes is going to reduce after this loss of form and series.

Wack! Boom! Bash!

(Needless to say what happened next!)